FOKN Frustrations & Operations

             FOKN Frustration, Operations n Complications             

I'm frustrated, so bloomin' fokn frustrated! 

Yes, I am happy to be alive and thankful & grateful for every day however I am sooo frustrated & on the edge of being vexed.

Today it is the fact that it does not look like I will be able to go to the London screening of Coz ov Moni 2 this week. Link for details > https://www.picturehouses.co.uk/film/Film_Africa_Uk_Premiere_Coz_Ov_Moni_Ii_Fokn_Revenge_Q_A/

I should be there, I would like to be there, yet it  is unlikely I will be there. THAT is why I am frustrated.

The blog I did in September will help you understand my frustrations. > http://ramblesfromarainbow.blogspot.co.uk/2013_09_01_archive.html 

When the blog was shared there were a few people who were 'non-believers' of the story. That is okay, I was expecting that. 

Then there were others who said I only wrote it to promote the fact that Mensa had a show in London that week. I also expected that.

Someone said I didn't turn up to Mensa show as I was scared after sharing my blog!! haha..I expected that too....

Another person was saddened by the fact that I mentioned SOME people from Ghana say nothing good comes from their country..they then did NOT share my blog but copied it & put it in their own blog, possibly thinking that I would not see this and the comments that followed. . . but I did.....cos I expected that...

There was a comment that said "FOKN Fairytale"...haha I LOVED that cos it made me laugh......

Anyway....THEN I got ready to go to the Mensa show. 

Special ecg electrodes & pads attached to my chest. Special as they have extra stick cos at the last show I danced & got so hot that I sweated them off!! (Yep, always a good night of music whenever an event is organised by Focus Organization https://www.facebook.com/pages/Focus-Organization/224250857613337?ref=tn_tnmn  ) So these ones I got especially for the occasion so they would stay stuck on!

I was boosted by the fact that his shows are like medicine to my soul.

I walked to the tube station, with a semi bounce in my step, Wanlovs 'foot' in my pocket (another story), a bracelet for Y & a letter. I tried to ignore that I felt a bit odd.

I was on my own as my mate T had a family crisis to deal with and could not attend at the last minute.

As I approached the ticket barrier it blurred, everything went to a dead sound in my ears, all energy suddenly sapped, I felt the pause, the loooong pause in my heartbeat...the sweat instantly running down my brow...my legs buckled.....

 Yep, with a smile I gripped the TFL mans arm and said "I'm going down".

I 'went down'/collapsed at the tube station. Kerpow! I like to think I did it with style, as stylish as you can be in that situation. 

After a few minutes I was okay again thanks to kindness, water & ecg readings & the fact my heart boosted back in. A complete stranger took me home after I assured him I did not need an ambulance. Obviously they are no longer a stranger & this is something positive to come out of it. His wife has since come & made me a cuppa tea. She sang to me. Nice.

So needless to say I never got to that show.

 The dude who took me home helped me send a text message to Mensas team. I was then very kindly sent a lovely video clip of Mensa sending me good vibes on stage.  This touched my heart, there was something in particular that further touched my heart about the clip. Thank you to all who sent good vibes, thank you. I really do appreciate.

It was a hazy blur of hospitals for a while, I remember being able to celebrate my Mums 70th Birthday. It was wonderful. Then a haze of hospital stays, getting worse and worse each time & staying longer each time I got admitted. Scary to be honest.

Finally I had an operation. Yep they finally did it on 16th Oct 2013. I'm still not 'fixed' but we are closer than we were to fixing me. Thank you NHS. Yep, here I am on the morning before the operation. Yep, That is a Mensa Mango Street t shirt..of course! > 

There are pics of me after the op, and of the wound/scar. I really don't think these need to be seen right now, but they are there. In fact I'm kinda proud of the mark. It is healing well. 

So I have been recovering.  It has been slow & I had further complications so my time plan got messed up. I thought I would have bounced back by now. 

This is also the week I had planned to go to Cameo Sessions at Sanctum Hotel, another music night, verrry stylish night, an acoustic night with the most amazing musicians and artists performing. It combined with an important Birthday celebration & a further celebration for my friend who received Londons Best Model award after much dedication. Ohhh I was gutted to miss it.

Then now to miss the screening of Coz ov Moni 2 is just annoying me.  Ggrrrrrr, vexations!

 Even if I feel reasonable on the day I know it is not wise to go as so far I have managed to go 200metres to the cornershop & back!

It says there will be a question and answer session with Fokn Bois after the screening. This is what I would really like to hear.

For the last few months through Twitter and Facebook, I have been seeing all sorts of comments & photos during the filming etc and the lead up. This has enticed me. I already have a list of questions. The controversy alone gets my brain buzzing.  The clever wit, quick thinking puns on words, innuedos, I'm sure it will all be in there....and a moral, there wil be a moral to he story..hehe.  I narrowed my questions down though, and this is before I have even see the movie!

Yes I do have a copy, a legal copy, of Coz ov Moni. (see pic at top) It's been watched many times for many reasons. Haha, we have had fun watching it...and every time my friend tells me I'm a good chef, well we both crack up laughing & bust out the lyrics...

So, I may not be there for the screening in Hackney .....Not because I am scared to show my face, not because I am just trying to hide, not because it is not real.....but because I am in my bed, in my bed suffering "Fokn Frustrations, Operations n Complications".......  ;)

Winter is here...officially!

Yep, it's here! Winter is here....
It is now officially British winter time.
Clocks have changed.
There will be a lot of moaning about this. Chats about how the days will be shorter and the evenings will close in so dark and early.
The talk about getting up in the dark & coming home in the dark will echo around the country.
There will also be many debates about whether the U.K. should abolish the clock change altogether.This is a debate that goes on twice a year, every year since I arrived in this country many years ago.
The television & media will be reminding us in case we have forgotten. It will be on all the news, chat shows etc & in front rooms. It will be the news for a day.
It is just the way, a way I have realised I actually quite like after many years of hating it!
Perhaps it's because I am getting older, but there are good points about the English winter I really have grown to like.
Yes, I also go through moaning and groaning, however there is an undertone of excitement in me.
Yep! I think of cosy evenings in, big fluffy duvets or blankets, candles, music, good winter stews, potatoes etc.
The thought of the frost on the trees on an icy clear crisp morning makes me smile. So cold yet truly wonderful to see, feel & experience.  I take time to stop & watch the birds hopping from tree to tree, it's always nice to see a Robin with their little red breast, the postcard moments become a true reality even right in the heart of London.
Ice glistening in winter sunshine, the bareness of the branches on the trees, they look almost dead yet the winter is just allowing them to replenish & grow & burst to life in the spring time.
At first putting on scarves and coats seemed such a hassle, yet once the deed is done once it soon reminds me of the comfort & cosyness of winter.
Carts with roasted chestnuts on the fire pop up everywhere, the smell alone is a memory I always associate with English wintertime. Whether you enjoy them or not, it is always a firm reminder that it IS winter.
SO this year I will embrace the clock change, I will embrace the winter months & more than anything I will embrace the fact that I am fortunate to be warm & cosy.
Winter IS here!

M3NSA

............................M3NSA................................
Finally I write this post. I  have started so many times, deleted, re-written, deleted again & again, so I have just decided to go with the flow and see what happens!
Yep, I'm nervous about this post. It's personal, real & I mention M3NSA. It's the mentioning Mensa bit that makes me nervous!
I was an instant  fan. We met in Aug 2010 at a gospel concert!! Truth dat!
Here is a pic for non-believers, as there are many people who never believe me. Haha....

My love runs deep for the guy.
I don't mean 'kissy kissy bang bang' love, I mean deep respect for his musical mind, the intelligence behind his lyrics, the fusion of musical flow & the talents that ooze from him, kind of love.
There was one day when I did something (in total innocence I stress) & this 'something' made Mensa cross. Haha, I laugh now but at the time it totally mashed up my mind at the time & hurt my heart so much. Misunderstandings. He does know this cos I told him, yet I never got to tell him the full story to this day. I am like a 'dog with a bone' so I know that I will wait until the end of time if I need to, as I will say what I have to say about that day & why it made me so cross.
I was so cross that I got inspired & I thank you Mensa for that everyday. The expression I used to say about Mensas music 'saving my life' became more true than I ever believed.
 In fact I wrote these lyrics the next day about it?!  http://youtu.be/CeDV1g75EYI
 Since then I HAVE improved on this track, I sing it with power & passion now, I have been in the studio (encouraged by M Prophet,Jazbo,Alonestar etc), it has been recorded in many ways...however it will never sound complete to me as in my mind it was written with a 'Mensa response'...haha, oh yes it was!!! Simple things but it would work. No no, I don't mean I think I am a pro like him, not at all, yet I do know him well enough to know it would work in a fun way!

So from that day I mention FIRST that we are 'Frenemies',.... then I mention I am a fan, a fan who really listens, nearly kills herself to get to his gigs (so true u won't believe), a fan who has been inspired, refreshed & motivated by his music. A fan who gets upset when folk from Ghana say nothing good comes from their country. I know they are usually referring to the political state however, I need to stress that through Mensas music there is been education on many levels.
I  listen to his lyrics, really listen. Sometimes I understand, sometimes I don't but there is something that makes me 'think' in every track. I ask what the lyrics mean, why it was written, what inspired it. The responses have always been interesting, not patronising, so I wanted to hear more..more and more.
No 1 Mango Street is the most played album in my home.  It stirs up all sorts of emotions & introduces us to his mind, his life, personal memories of his home he grew in, global issues & with a good dose of humour, that's why he gets away with a lot of things, cos he has a good sense of humour.

Thank you for reading this far as the most important bit of the blog is coming up!!

He saved my life for real!  

I was in hospital a few months ago, cardiac problem. Having been given CPR & the use of a defibrillator to bring me back to life again I was zoomed to hospital with blue flashing lights.

 I remember bits of it. My ribs were cracked from the first CPR attempt & I felt that throbbing, I mentioned cheese, I heard the cardiologist saying that they needed to contact my Mum. 

It felt like I as shouting at them but I kept whispering telling them "it's ok, don't call my Mum..I'm not gonna die until I am 98!" 

Wires hanging off me, machines beeping, huge teams of doctors & nurses running in as my heart repeatedly stopped then started then stopped putting a further strain on my body each time. 

What then felt like minutes to me was actually hours....I have been filled in on what happened & not only had I had a cardiac arrest but I had also gone into respiratory arrest?! I had been so bad that I was classed as 'dead' for a couple of minutes. 

Sharp minds in the NHS helped, but the conversation that was taking place around me as I lay there weak & bleeping, went something like this (according to my Mum  the handsome Cardiologist)...

"haha, oohh she's mentioned Mensa to you has she?" they chuckle.."oh yes Mrs Mum she certainly has. Mentioned many music artists but she always comes in with a Mensa line." They chuckle again, my Mum looking at me fondly..."she would make up some lyrics to go with the beat of that damn bleeping machine if she just woke up."..."yes yes she would" they chuckle again remembering some of my mad lyrics & stories.

"Hmmm whats the line..ummm I've come back again..".."no no I think it's "Mensa comes back again"..The machine beep changes rate...."oh my Lawd she moved her hand! She moved her hand!! She's coming back!"....I vaguely remember this bit...

I tried so hard to put my hand on my heart but I only managed to raise one finger...weakly & breathless I slowly got my words out...*** "Men...sa...it's . .  M3NSA is.... back ..again.." (I flop a bit & take a breath) "..to drive..the world in saaaane...." ...and that's IT I'm BACK!  *** 

Mensa & his lyrics kinda saved my life. Thank you from me, my family, friends  my dog, thank you Mensa. No money can buy that.

So that is further reason to love the dude. 

It has become a bit of a joke that if I am ever trying to die again that you should MIS-quote Mensa lyrics to me....cos it is so deep in my heart that is will frustrate me & bring me back!! Just so I can correct you!! haha...Ghana be PROUD! 

Hear the music that helped save me, my heart, my mind n my soul - M3NSA - No1 Mango Street > http://m3nsa.com/  Twitter -@MensaMusic 

'Hair Flare'

'Hair Flare'

Not sure I like hairdressers but I'll give it a go!..& yes they ARE genuine Colin Leslie shades on my head!! > http://www.colinleslieeyewear.co.uk/

 FINALLY!
After a long time looking I have found a dude who cut my hair well. In fact, not only did he cut my hair well, but the whole experience & pampering was lovely.
His name is Paulo & he is working in Headmasters UK Shepherds Bush, #W12. Here is a link > http://www.headmasters.com/?p=422
I made an appointment with the receptionist Natalie.
She was bubbly & bright, had a young funky vibe yet was graceful & attentive. She assessed my mood well & my slight natural 'ditsyness' & also gave me some advice about yellow nail varnish while I was there. Stupidly I forgot to take a photo of her. If you go in, her groovy bubblegum pink nails will hit your eyes & you will realise this matches her character.
This is how my hair was...

Paulo chatted to me about what I wanted. I informed him I needed to rescue it from the last 'cut' at a different hairdressers.
Natalie then returned with this lovely cup of coffee, biccies & water. I liked the simple but nice touch of it being served on a tray. I liked it so much that I took a pic!

I was taken to have my hair washed. This is when Nilson popped up. Turns out he happens to be Paulos Uncle. He was equally charming too.  Well he 'washed' my hair. It was more like a dreamy massage with some aromatherapy thrown in. I felt relaxed, the smell of the shampoo made me imagine I was lying in a field

 in the sunshine. Bliss...

In a dreamy state, and after admiring the beads on Nilsons neck, I strolled back to the chair for the cut to begin. Quite impressed with our dual multi-tasking skills here!

He chopped, he listened, he smiled...I was liking his vibe & confidence even more. Did I mention that I like chatting to hairdressers but I don't like having my haircut! So far Paulo is doing well & I am happy so this is good.

Nearing the end of the lovely pampering experience. Yep, I even look happy so all is good! The salon has been busy with customers arriving looking a bit weary & they leave looking refreshed. Nilson & Paulo both mention a hair treatment called 'Kerastase'. I vaguely take this in through my hazy world of bliss.

All finished!  Yep, I insisted on getting a pic of my new fave hairdresser. 

No, I did  NOT mention that Paulo is young and good looking as I think that is obvious! His grace, style & cutting skills were fantastic. He put up with my enthusiastic chatting, he was sweet when I told him about my slightly broken heart. I 'big him up' because he is good at what he does.

I am pleased with my haircut. 

I liked the good customer service I received. 

I felt pampered and special at the end of a hard emotional week. 

Refreshed and happy. I WILL return, I will return because as I left I felt fantastic, bubbly and bouncy, just like my hair.....They gave me 'Hair Flare'...and in my world, THAT is good :)

Rings n things

                            Rings n things

Many people comment on  the rings I wear and often ask me about them. 

These are the 3 rings that I get most comments on.

Sometimes friends ask but often a random stranger on the bus, underground/tube or in a coffee shop will approach me & ask me. 

I always like when this happens because......

1- It's nice to know strangers feel I am approachable!

2- It's good to know that the rings capture other peoples eyes like it did mine

3- I enjoy talking (in general!) but in particular about most things creative & crafty

4- New friendships are often formed from these simple interactions

5- The designers of the rings appreciate the feedback & that the item is being enjoyed.

I make beads, bracelets, necklaces so my hands get noticed quite a lot.  I have some 'hand issues' lol..so I like that the attention is on the rings!

Anyway, here is a little run down on them.......

                                                        Ring One - Kenya

  

Kenya

This is wood carved with copper & tin. 

It was made by a young chap in Kenya.

Wearing this ring actually feels good. You know that feeling when something just feels right? Well thats the feeling!  I like to think that I feel calmer when I am wearing it. It has a 'rootsy' feel about it, it works well with my hippy vibes.  It fits perfectly & is unique.  I have a deep connection with it! 

 The good news is that some of his items are available in Mama B's African Shop in West 12 Centre, Shepherds Bush London, W12.  It is a non-profit organisation & the money goes to the artist. It is a creative space. The shop is full of many goodies from all over Africa & worth checking out. It is always fun too as the ladies in the shop are very entertaining.

Ring Two - Morocco

Morocco

 Silver ring with wood, copper, brass & shell.

This is from Morocco. 

I wish I knew who made it as I would like to thank them.  

Not only do I love the design, the weight & the feel of it, but it is also of sentimental value to me. The day I got this is full of special memories of a good day, a good person, a special person.  I will carry those memories through life. In fact this ring often gets referred to as the 'Circle of Life' ring. Nice.

Ring Three - Vern

Vern aka Malvern

Silver ring, nice and heavy. It feels 'solid'.

I got this ring in Malvern, Worcestershire, WR14, Uk, from a fab shop called Scarlette Arc.

 I spent many years in Malvern & did the majority of my schooling there & had lots of fun growing up. I still visit & I always pop into the shop. They know I come looking for beads and rings n things. 

They managed to track down the designer of the ring for me. 

He makes them in his workshop in Upton Upon Severn. They are usually 'one offs'.  

I sadly lost another ring that I got from him before, it is somewhere in the Ionian sea!  however I plan to meet with him one day & see what we can design together. I like to think that the ring I lost was found by someone who now has a mutual appreciation for it & a story to tell about how they found it.

So there you go, my three most talked about rings for you.  Rings n things, I cold talk for hours!

My Pyrography

Bead Pyrography - Wood Burning

Ouch! Burnt myself again...time to get a pyrography tool.  
I am glad I did.
I've been having fun trying out the different heads & experimenting on beads.
In fact I quite like the smell of the wood when it singes.
Perhaps it's not the best idea to inhale it, so maybe wear a scarf over your mouth or a mask if you have one. 
Make sure you have a window open or a well ventilated area.
The tool gets extremely hot so make sure you have an appropriate surface to lay it on.
Play around and try different ideas it is the best way to see how it works. Better than reading about it.

* This was my first try using different heads & also just simple freehand writing.  Custom made by request for 'Watusi Eighty Seven' a young hip hop artist.

* I did a giant pendant & burnt my song lyrics on the back.....a few errors and mis-burns where I wasn't concentrating or got a hand wobble.

AFTER this I felt I was starting to get a better feel of using the tool....so........this is what I did next. I was pleased with the result & was more confident with the pressure I needed to use etc.....

* These I did to mark the third London Coffee Festival, raising money and awareness to bring clean water to Mbulu in Tanzania. At the festival there is live music, the musicians donate their time and talents for 3days. I called these beads 'Music for Mbulu' beads.

So if you are thinking of getting a pyrography tool go for it!

Don't spend a fortune, between £12 - £24 & you will have fun. Mine was £22 and seems smoother than the more expensive one that my friend has..

Be safe!  Have a fun creative time! 

Life through a window

 Life through a window 
Many years ago, at school in South Africa, in either 1981 or 1982, we were told a story, a fable, a tale. There were many 'stories' in fact but a few in particular stayed in my mind to this day.
This is my basic memory of that story. I even remember what a hot day it was when the Nun, Sister Caroline, told us.
We had our blazer jackets on and were told not to take them off. I could feel the sweat on he back of my neck and even my knees.  I was also told off on this day for my hair touching my dress collar?! However that is another story!
So here goes...this is my adaptation of the story...I think my sister may remember this one but she might remember it differently as we tend to do that!....

Life through a window
Two girls were in a hospital ward. One in the bed by the window & the other on the other side of the room against the ugly wall.
They became friends, spoke about getting better and running and playing outside in the sun together, they laughed they cried, they shared food, shared jokes but MOST importantly they shared 'life through a window'...
Oh yes! This was the thing they shared the most.  Wall girl would ask Window girl all about what it looked like outside the window...
Window girl loved this. She lay in her bed looking out of the window smiling and telling Wall girl all about it. Wall girl would get excited & beg her to tell her more about the flowers and the colours & the beautiful life outside the hospital window. Window girl always entertained her with this.
They shared the dream of healthily running about smelling the flowers, painting pictures of them, all the beautiful colours & scents.
Wall girl told Window girl that this dream kept her strong to fight to get better. The friendship & dream were strong and real...Window girl gently said..."Just remember the beautiful life through the window"....
That night there was lots of noise & rushing about, nurses in and out and then silence..... a strange silence. Wall girl was told to sleep.

She woke up to find the bed by the window was empty. Empty! Window girl had gone,  her dear friend & narrator of 'life through a window' was gone.
The nurses came to comfort Wall girl. There was one thing on her mind.. She asked the nurse if the could move her bed by the window. She wanted to see out of the window.  The nurses tried to assure her that it was no better than the place she was in by the wall. Wall girl insisted.
The bed was moved, Wall girl pulled the blind back, blinking with excitement and also at the sunlight that poured in....she blinked again to re focus, she couldn't wait to see the beautiful flowers she had heard so much about.
She blinked again, staring out of the window, almost n disbelief. There was a wall, an ugly concrete WALL with rubbish all around, not beautiful at all...
"Wh..where are...wh...where are all the beautiful flowers Window girl told me about?".. she quietly asked the nurse....
"Flowers? There never were any flowers dear Wall girl, you had a friend, a friend who could see beauty in life even when it wasn't there.... so she could improve your days and make you happy.."
Wall girl was stunned for a moment. Then she smiled, lay back in her bed looking out of the window...
There was noise and people running about again, this time wheeling a bed into that place by the wall, the ugly concrete wall she remembered so well.The new Wall girl smiled, said hello and asked with great excitement & hope..  "ooohhh is it beautiful outside that window? I bet it's beautiful".....
Wall girl, now New Window girl looked outside at the ugly concrete wall, .. she smiled and turned to the new face of hope.. "ooh yes YES...it's beeeeeautiful, the flowers are so beautiful, we will pick flowers together one day"......
'Life through a window' make of it what you want........

Cheesy Choices

Cheesy Choices
Yep, I am a lover of many types of cheese.
CHEDDAR in particular seems to 'rock my world'.
Sometimes I enjoy a mild creamy cheddar, sometimes a sharp strong cheese with a bite.
Toasted cheese is something I actually dream about & am always trying to find my ideal combination to get the yummy melting and bubbling effect but with flavour.
Having many 'cheesy choices' out there I find I am often left with pieces of leftover cheddar going to waste. It really annoys me to waste food.
So you can imagine how 'cheesily chuffed' I was when I found THIS in Morrisons supermarket in the Deli section.

Oh yes yes yes, FIVE cheddars in one!!  Oh these little things bring me great pleasure.

It was delicious in a cheese &tomato sarnie, truly bubbly and tasty in macaroni cheese, and gave a nice little crusty bite to a cheesy potato topping on fish pie.

This was a good 'cheesy choice' I made.  I am sure it would be even nicer with a cheeky glass of white wine to boot...ENJOY!

Peri Peri Chicken

Peri Peri Chicken

Peri Peri Chicken is what I fancied today, so that is what I had. I AM the Peri Peri Bird!!

1-I chopped onions, red chilli, crushed garlic, grated lime zest, squeeze of lime juice, ripped up fresh coriander & fresh flat leaf parsley. Add to chicken. I used breast this time. 
2-Let it do its thang...in other words marinade for a while. Like this...

3-I left a few chilli seeds in there for a little extra 'kick'. It works nicely with the zesty lime.

Then I flung in the good old faithful +Nandos Peri Peri marinade.  

4- I then added a few extra ingredients to make it to my taste, eg, Worcester sauce, sugar, & something kinda 'secret'..yep, so secret in fact that even I am not sure what it will be!

It should look like this...

5-Put on rice. I put some coconut in the rice. Go & do something else & let the fresh flavours & smells soak into the chicken for a bit. Anything from 20minutes to two days. 

6-Quick seal chicken in hot pan. Turn heat down, add splash of water & let it simmer & the sauce to reduce down a bit.

7-Rice on plate, Bung the chicken on the top, add fresh sprig of coriander, cos it looks nice, and then a slice n squeeze of lime....Don't forget to add  whole heap of love....

.......and there you go...this is how mine looks. It tasted pretty good too. Satisfied...

Yum! :)

No Sleep

.....No Sleep.....
Just can't sleep going crazy in my mind,
the harder I try, the harder it is I find,
I toss an turn & count oh so many sheep,
yet still I'm frustrated and unable to sleep...

At this hour, 3.25am,
London sleeps but not my brain,
it has an idea, it has a plan
brain wants to stay awake but my body is hurting man!

So instead of going crazy & being frustrated in my bed
thoughts & plans running through my head,
Instead of this I am gonna get up & enjoy the time
cos otherwise wise it will be a sleep crime!!